I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
