The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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