when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i believe in u and ur pee
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
