I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
