WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
