don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
