oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize