I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's just like the Real World with babies
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
