i think i have herpe
just one?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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