I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize