This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
