i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
