do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
