I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I had to cum in my sink.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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