69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
