Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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