god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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