He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
