Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm like, not good at living.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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