I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Why can't burritos get me drunk
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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