you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
