my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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