Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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