My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
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