I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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