Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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