So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
