So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
