mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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