The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
