where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
