I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
