you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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