Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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