I didn't shave. On purpose
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize