the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
