I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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