Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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