Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
