Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
