i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
