im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
