So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
