Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
