Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I love you.
Bad choice
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
