whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, beer. Big fan.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
