Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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