JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
