You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
