She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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