I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize