You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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