soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
