Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
