Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
