I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
