Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just pee around me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
