hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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