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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.

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• (516): View more from New York

  She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He didn't think we needed a taxi

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?

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• (707): View more from California

  There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.

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• (925): View more from California

  I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.

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