Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
